


Freezing a Moment

by Hopeloveandpride



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: (nothing major but he's my anxious son), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Photographer, Anxiety, Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Apartments, Canada, Chubby Katsuki Yuuri, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, JJ would be proud, Light Angst, Long-Haired Katsuki Yuuri, Long-Haired Victor Nikiforov, M/M, More characters introduced later on, No Smut, Photography AU, Shy Victor, Slow Build, Some Fluff, Some Plot, Toronto, Vicchan Lives, a lot of fluff, anxiety ruins everything, everyone has long hair dammit, he acts confident but he is Afraid, he's just w/ yuuri's parents, makkachin is a little shit, okay thats a lie, viktor is a popular photographer, yuuri is a mama's boy, yuuri is intimidated by him
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-09 05:53:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11662962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopeloveandpride/pseuds/Hopeloveandpride
Summary: Yuuri Katsuki is a college student trying not to let anxiety take over his life. Of course, he's failing at it. Miserably. It's a wonder he can go to class without dying a little inside. One fateful day, he meets his idol and muse, Viktor Nikiforov. All thanks to Makkachin and his attention loving ways. Yuuri's anxiety is at an all time high, and his mood an all time low, so why is he so scared of finding happiness?Viktor Nikiforov is a world renowned photographer, and the most famous. He seems so calm, collected, and confident. He's actually shy. Yeah, THE Viktor Nikiforov is shy. Not only is he shy, but his self-esteem is at an all time low. Nothing he does is ever good enough, and he doesn't even have the inspiration to keep taking pictures. Until he meets Yuuri. His passion and drive for photography might just be what Viktor has been looking for.





	1. How Not to Think

**Author's Note:**

> So like this is my first fic. I wasn't going to share it, but I want to challenge myself. It's probably gonna be a bit rough, but I promise I'm putting the effort in. I needed a photography AU man.

Yuuri stared at the brown eyes looking up at him and wondered what he was supposed to do now. There was a dog in his house, and it certainly didn’t look like Vicchan. Well, now that he’s mentioned that, it kind of does. It’s not, though, because it’s bigger. When he left his door open to carry groceries in, it came barreling in and knocked Yuuri over. Not that he minded because he loves dogs, and it was a very friendly dog. He knew someone was probably looking for it, and they were probably really worried because she looked well cared for. (Is it a she? It looks like one.) Her light brown fur was perfectly cut, and she was quite heavy. (Not too heavy, but enough to tell that she’s spoiled.) There was also a bright pink collar, decorated with several red hearts, with a tag on it. He bent down to get a better look at it,

 _Makkachin Nikiforov_  
_165 Dunaway Dr, building C, Number 213_  
_Please call: 555 555 5555 if lost_  
  
Realization dawned on Yuuri, that was Viktor Nikiforov’s dog. Which means Viktor lives near him, and that he had to give him his dog back. The very thought of calling the number caused butterflies to bubble up in his stomach. How was he supposed to be calm? His idol’s dog is sitting in front of him, wagging her tail. He was told to call Viktor’s phone number, which he now knew, and he had anxiety for Christ's sake. There was a small chance that if he called the number, or brought Makkachin to the room nearby, he would die. He juggled the choices in his mind, and finally decided it would have to happen. Knowing what it felt like to lose a dog, and not wanting Viktor to feel that way, he had to.  
He expected Viktor’s suite to be further away, but instead, it brought him to the apartment next door. Which, now that he thinks about it, is probably why the dog was eager to get inside in the first place. He took a deep breath and walked up to the door. Pausing for a moment to make sure he was 100% at the right place, he knocks on the door. Before he could even blink the door was flung open, and Yuuri was face-to-face to award-winning photographer Viktor Nikiforov. His idol, and his muse. He aspired to be as good as that man. Viktor shot Yuuri a dazzling grin when he saw the dog, but turned his attention to her: 

“What did I say about running off into every open door you see?” he scolded.

  
“D-don’t worry. I-I love dogs…” Yuuri nervously stuttered, trailing off before he could embarrass himself further.

  
Viktor’s gaze turned back to Yuuri and softened when he saw how nervous Yuuri was.

  
“Thank you so much, she means the world to me.” he said smoothly.

  
Yuuri wanted to say something, _anything_ , but he was so anxious he couldn’t even remember how to breathe if he wanted to. He tried to force a smile and looked at Viktor. That was a mistake, as he was taken aback by how bright his eyes were. They were piercing, and it almost struck fear in his heart. If it wasn’t for the soft gaze he had on Yuuri he would surely be having a bad time. He could have stayed here forever if it wasn’t for the fact his phone was ringing. Forcing himself to deal with trying to come up with words:

  
“I-I gotta….” he paused, trying to take a shaky breath to regain his cool. “S-sorry I gotta go….”

  
His stomach was less happy butterflies now, and it was filled with the burning feeling of impending doom. The last thing he wants to deal with right here, right now, is an anxiety attack. Not in front of his idol. Not when he just missed a phone call. Not now. Of course, his brain doesn’t care. His brain senses danger and wants to escape. Before he could dwell on it, Viktor spoke:

  
“So soon?” he smiled softly. “I guess I’ll see you around, nice meeting you . . . Uhm, sorry, your name is?”

  
“Yuuri.”

  
“Ahh, Yuuri. A beautiful name. Nice meeting you, Yuuri.” He grabbed Yuuri’s hand and left a gentle kiss.

  
He could have imploded on the spot, and he felt the anxiety bubbling inside of him. He had to get out of here, and quick. Viktor walked back into his apartment with Makkachin and closed the door behind him. Yuuri, not wasting a second, ran back into the safety of his apartment. He missed a call from his mother, which was sure to concern her. That was the least of his worries at the moment, however, as he eased back into the couch to have that anxiety attack he’s been putting off.

It’s draining and exhausting, and he’s sick of living like this, but the anxiety is just part of who he is now. Photography is his escape, though, and even on his lowest days he somehow finds the energy to take a picture of something. Anything helps.

Once he was able to calm down enough to move he moved the blanket on the couch over himself, and fell into a well-deserved nap. The one way he knows how to recover from an attack,

  
sleep.


	2. Everything is Empty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor's perspective of the whole Makkachin escaping thing. Pretty much just introduction to Viktor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to properly introduce Yuuri soon wtf also please don't get used to super fast updates I'm on summer break so I have a lot more free time but once i start school it'll slow down really fast

Makkachin is missing. Of course, she’s missing, because she doesn’t know how to control herself. It doesn’t make Viktor any less concerned, however, because he worried about her. She was all he had. Well, not everything, but his family was back in Russia. Viktor couldn’t stay there, as a gay man, he wasn’t safe. When he was old enough, he moved to Toronto for school. After he finished he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to be able to work here and become a full citizen. The scenery was always enthralling, and Viktor had never felt freer. For once, he didn’t have to hide. He could wear whatever he wanted, and he could have the long hair he always dreamed of having.

  
He was distracted by his own thoughts, again, and forgot about finding Makkachin. Viktor had a habit of always leaving his door open, and Makkachin escaped every time. He used to have roommates to remind him to close it, but he moved out awhile ago. Makkachin likes to explore, and visit other people. She was a very friendly dog, but she was very big and often got overexcited.   
  
Even though he knew that she couldn’t have gotten very far, he still worried she wouldn’t come home. He would not be able to handle losing her, especially after all that he went through to come here with her. Before he got a chance to go out to look for her, there was a knock at the door. Viktor took a deep breath, and mentally prepared to be as outgoing and confident as possible. He opened the door straight away and was greeted by a man with big brown eyes hidden under blue glasses. His eyes were beautiful, and Viktor imagined all of the ways he could capture them. As much as he wanted to focus on it, he needed to focus on the dog. Scolding Makkachin is the last thing he wanted to do, but it was a necessary evil. The man smiled a little, and it was adorable.    
  
Yuuri, as he soon found out his name was, was anxious. Viktor could tell as soon as he kissed Yuuri’s hand that he was shaking, and it made his heart ache with sympathy. No one deserved to go through that, and Yuuri seemed like a really caring person. Instead of calling Viktor when he found her, like most people do, he went through the trouble to bring her to him. Maybe he should let her escape to Yuuri more often, as he seemed pretty happy about his surprise visitor. Though, maybe social interaction isn’t his thing? Viktor wondered if he would actually see Yuuri around.    
  
He hoped he would see Yuuri more. For the first time in a long time, he found someone he wanted to showcase. The passion he had for photography has been dimmed for a while now, and it felt more like a chore than it ever did before. Yuuri probably won't be able to help with that, but a man could hope.    
  
He took his camera off of the counter he set it on and plugged it into his laptop. He sets to work on editing the photos, but they’re lacklustre at best. No amount of editing would be able to fix that. They looked nothing like the pictures he wants to put out there, and they don’t meet his high standards. He’s never meeting his own standards anymore, and it is painful to feel that way as an artist. Taking pictures was his therapy before, but now he doesn’t even have the energy to leave his apartment. Even when he does, and that’s rare, it feels useless. The pictures he used to take represented happiness. Everyone demands he continues taking pictures like it, but it’s hard to capture happiness when he’s not happy. Every single time he tries, it doesn’t feel enjoyable. It feels forced, and that doesn’t look good in his pictures. It’s hard to capture anything positive when he’s been running on empty for a while. Eventually, he gave up on editing, because it’s useless, and flopped onto the couch. Makkachin followed and laid down at Viktor’s feet. He wished more than anything that he could find his happiness; that drive to keep getting better that he’s lost. Alas, every time he thought he was getting better he spiralled even lower. As a result, he’s lost his theme.    
  
His mind wandered back to Yuuri, which was a welcome distraction. He wondered why Yuuri was so afraid, when it was painfully obvious he needed someone. Yuuri sparked something in Viktor, and he didn’t know what it was. He wanted to know more about Yuuri, and then thought crosses his mind: He could google Yuuri. He’s certain that there are not many people named Yuuri, and facebook stalking might be a good way to kill some time. He shifted himself into a sitting position and pulled his laptop over. Makkachin used this to her advantage, and she moved closer to Viktor and curled up at his side. He looked at her fondly and rubbed her head before he turned his attention to the laptop.    
  
He googled Yuuri, and the first suggestion to pop up was Yuuri Katsuki. Viktor wondered if it was the same Yuuri he met earlier and clicked onto that result. A few minutes later he made his way onto a website for a photographer with the same name. When he went into the about section, there Yuuri was, and he looked younger. It was an older picture, and he was different. He was standing in front of what looked like a castle, and it didn’t look like it was in Toronto.    
  
He made a resolution to try and continue talking to Yuri, no matter how terrifying it was to him.   



	3. Static

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri calls his mother, and bumps into Viktor again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this part out a couple days ago but it took me a while to get the energy to edit it, sorry. I'll try to be faster next time but I can't make any promises though :p

Yuuri woke up some time later by his phone ringing. He wanted to ignore it but the bright light that emitted from the device was not helping him. It was light out now, how long was he asleep? He must have slept the entire night. The anxiety centered to his stomach now which made him feel a bit better. It was less potent now, and he was a little more clear headed. The phone stopped ringing for a second before it started again up again. He sighed before he shifted himself into a sitting position. He didn’t have the energy to deal with a phone call right then and there. Nonetheless, it was his mother and he didn’t want to worry her further by not picking up. Or at the very least not sending her a text saying that he was alive. He reached onto the coffee table where his phone was and grabbed it. There were two things waiting for him: 4 missed calls from his mom, and a text from Phichit.

He decided to answer his mom first, since she often worried about him more . He dialled the familiar number. (he knew he could use the contact in his phone, but this gave him a bit more time to summon the courage to make a call).

“Yuuri! Why didn’t you pick up, is everything okay darling?” Hiroko asked, concern laced in her voice.

“Y-yeah, everything’s f-fine. S-sorry for not picking up sooner. . .” he trailed off.

He hated going through anxiety attacks because they always left him shaky and it showed. It was his fault she worried about him in the first place, and it made him feel guilty. His stomach had ignited in the anxious flames again, and he wanted to get this over with.

“Did you have another anxiety attack?” she paused. “You should see someone about that, Yuuri, you don’t sound well.”   
i   
Yuuri could feel her worried expression through the phone. It hurt, knowing how worried he made his family. He wanted to be normal, but lately it felt like his anxiety had taken over him. Hiroko didn’t know about the meds, and he felt terrified to tell her he started taking meds. He knew that she wouldn’t like the fact he was on medication, she hates medication. He also knew that she would most likely understand that it's because he was sick, but it still scared him

“I-I am, mom, they p-put me on meds.” He paused, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “I-I haven’t been taking them. . .” he trailed off again (it was frustrating that it was so hard for him to finish a sentence).

Hiroko sighed, “Oh Yuuri, they wouldn’t give them to you if you didn’t need them. You’ve tried everything, and nothing seems to work. You need meds.”

Yuuri was kind of relieved that she didn’t mind. He felt better about actually using meds after the reassurance.

“I-I’m sorry. . .” a pause (it was almost like his thoughts were in slow motion), “A-anyway, how’s Vicchan?”

He changed the subject because he didn’t want to dwell on the guilt running through him. A coward move, but it was for the best. He hated that anxiety was his dominant trait, and had been for so long because he’s had it since he was young. It was tiring.

“He misses you!” Hiroko laughed, “Whenever we get a new guest at the hot springs he comes running to the door looking for you.”

Yuuri smiled as he thought about his beloved dog. He wanted to get a dog ever since he found out Viktor had a poodle. (Vicchan was actually a service dog for Yuuri, but he doesn’t have the money to bring him up. Someday he hopes to.)

“I-I can’t wait until he can c-come live here.” said Yuuri, elated at the thought of his future.

The line was silent for a second, until Hiroko finally spoke up:

“Actually, I was waiting for it to be a surprise, but because he’s a service dog he can come up here for cheaper. Your father and I talked about it, and we’re flying him up next week.”

Yuuri wanted to cry at his mother’s generosity until he realized that she was paying for it for him. That didn’t feel right to him because he’s Yuuri’s dog, and he should have the responsibility for him. He should have to pay for it and his mother shouldn’t have to pay for it. It’s his fault he even needs Vicchan in the first place. He shouldn’t even have Vicchan, there’s pleanty of people that deserve a service dog more than him. He gulped, and felt the familiar feeling fill his mind. It’s a staticy feeling that fills his head with the buzzing of overthinking. Vast thought that filled his mind and sped past him leaving him breathless. He breathed harder and then it started getting harder to breathe.

“S-sorry mom, I-I’m getting another c-c-call. I-I-I have to g-g-go.” he fabricates an excuse, and hung up the phone before she could worry.

He’s shaking now, and his head is starting to hurt with all the thoughts running through it. His heart is pounding and his stomach is sick. He wonders if he’s dying because his heart is beating so fast it doesn’t feel healthy. Also he can’t catch his breath. His anxiety attack is crossing the line into panic attack territory, and he’s never had one like this before.

After a while it calms down enough for Yuuri to function. His heart was still beating quite fast, and the adrenaline isn’t completely settled but it was better. He walked over to the room that holds his camera and mini tripod and packed it all into his bag. He threw the bag over his shoulder, and grabbed his keys.

He was going to do what he did best, and take some pictures. It was soothing, and a better method than what used to do. (more on that later) Before he could get very far, a dog barreled up to him and knocked him over. There was a person following the dog, and laughing. Yuuri blinked once and realised that the dog was Makkachin, and the person was Viktor. His stomach swirled, but it was butterflies. He was nervous, he told himself, everyone gets nervous around new people. Plus, he took his meds to calm down after the panic attack. He was calmer than the first time around. He felt braver this time, and managed to get a good look at Viktor. His hair was long, and his bangs were much shorter than Yuuri thought they’d be. It looked dyed because of how silver it is. Viktor’s eyes were enchanting, and he moved his focus to them. They were the most beautiful blue Yuuri has ever seen, and he wanted to look into them forever. His gaze was soft, but his eyes looked distracted. There were dark bags underneath them, and he looked exhausted. He was pale, but Yuuri knew he was also from Russia so he knew that was normal. He was wearing a black shirt, and it hugged his torso in all the right ways. Yuuri’s eyes drifted to the jogging pants Viktor was wearing. He wondered how someone could make something so simple look so well put together. Finally, Yuuri smiled at Viktor and spoke:

“H-hey there…” said Yuuri (he might have been less anxious but he was still awful at social interaction

Turning his focus to the dog, he pet Makkachin.

“Hey, Yuuri? I hope I remember your name…” said Viktor, but he didn’t mean to say that last part.

“Y-yeah, that’s my name.” Realising it wouldsound pretty weird if he called Viktor by name, he added, “Y-You never told me your name….”

He could feel himself starting to blush, but not out of embarrassment. More like, out of anxiety. He was nervous, but not too nervous, and didn’t want to say the wrong thing. The last thing he wanted to do was to scare Viktor away. Especially since he seemed so charming, and sweet.

“O-Oh….” he paused. “I-It’s Viktor.”

“Is-Is he . . . nervous?” thought Yuuri, and then he realized he said it out loud.

He clamped a hand over his mouth in embarrassment and stuttered out an apology. Viktor smiled though, and agreed that he was, indeed, nervous. It was surprising to him that someone so charming, so well put together, could be nervous. Not that it was a bad thing, Yuuri felr taken aback. He was not expecting that, not at all.

“M-me too. . . I-I mean, I’m nervous too . . .” Yuuri fumbled over his words. “I-I, uh, love your work,”

He could feel his cheeks getting redder and prayed it wasn’t obvious how awkward he sounded. Viktor gave him a small smile, and it was obvious that he felt even more nervous. He hoped he didn't do something wrong, and make the other uncomfortable in any way. As much as it scared him he did want to make a good impression on his idol. 


End file.
